


Dog Days

by Dilly_Oh



Category: Naruto
Genre: Bad Flirting, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-17 09:06:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11848389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dilly_Oh/pseuds/Dilly_Oh
Summary: Written for Kakairufest 2017 Summer Round, Classics Prompt 11: A character undergoes a troubling physical transformation.





	Dog Days

Iruka had been having a relatively good day. He hadn’t woken up screaming, so that was a plus. His hot water lasted long enough to actually use conditioner this time, so his hair was extra silky smooth and tangle-free. And his last bagel, while rather stale, hadn’t given him a stomachache upon consumption. Yes, today definitely seemed to be shaping up to be a good day.

God, what an idiot he’d been.

“Oh,  _ shit _ ! Sensei, are you okay?!”

Iruka just stared blankly, his confusion deepening as a very frantic Kakashi rushed over, growing in size with every step. How was he suddenly so much taller than him? Normally he only had a scant inch or two, but now the other man literally towered over him. Maybe he’d fallen down? Iruka glanced at his feet and saw only two dark furry paws. Whose were those? Colors were muted, too. Strange. Perhaps something had stuck his eyes. And the smells- dear God, the  _ smells _ ! Dozens assaulting his nose like a missing-nin ambush! The sheer magnitude made his head spin. Why could he suddenly smell hot dogs, and more importantly, why did that can of trash at the street corner smell so damn tantalizing? To his horror, his mouth started watering.

_ “…Wh…what? Kakashi _ ?” he asked, his voice shrill with panic. “ _ What’s going on?” _

“ _ Shh _ ! Stop barking!” Kakashi shushed him, shooting guilty, furtive glances over his shoulder at several passers-by.“Hi, good morning, how are you.”

“ _ Barking?! How dare you! Don’t talk to me like _ -”

“ _ Shhhh _ ! Just stop, okay? Let me try to explain.” Iruka fell silent with reluctance, waiting impatiently while Kakashi took a deep breath to compose himself. “…I think I may have accidentally turned you into a dog.” There was a pause. “An Irish Setter, to be exact.” He reached out his hand in a gesture of peace and goodwill. “…Sorry?”

Oh. Well. That would certainly explain everything. The sudden loss in height and color, the furry feet, the increased sense of smell, the so called ‘barking’. What a silly misunderstanding. Iruka responded accordingly.

He bit him.

 

Iruka really wished Tsunade would stop laughing long enough to properly give him a check over, or at least punish Kakashi, preferably with her fists. She was tipped back in her chair behind the Hokage’s desk, head thrown back, cackling away at the sight of the great Copy Nin standing dejectedly in her office with an Irish Setter latched onto one arm. 

“Oh God! My stomach!” Tsunade was finally forced to stop to catch her breath and wiped her eyes. She snorted again as her vision cleared and she caught another glimpse of the pair. “Shizune, get in here!” she shouted at the door. “You gotta see this!” 

“Tsunade-sama-”

“At least let me get a picture-”

“Tsunade-sama!” Kakashi cut in, wincing as Iruka’s teeth did likewise. “This is a bit of an emergency.”

“This has been the highlight of my week, don’t ruin it for me.“ Tsunade crossed her arms and looked between the two of them, her stern glare ruined by the shadow of a smile tugging at her lips. “So? What happened?” 

“Well, I was minding my own business, practicing a new Jutsu I’d copied from a missing-nin I ran into on my last mission when Iruka-sensei here blundered into- OWWW!”

Tsunade wasted no time inspecting Iruka, kneeling down to run her hands down his shoulders and sides. He stubbornly refused to release Kakashi’s arm, instead holding still and shivering at the warm tingle of chakra pulsing through his body.

“Hmm. I see.” Tsunade sat back on her heels, her eyes studying Iruka appraisingly. “Kakashi, this fancy new Jutsu of yours is nothing more than a fancy Henge. It’s a forced and longer-lasting one, yes, but by no means permanent. Your chakra is circulating through his system, keeping him trapped in this form. I’ll bet not even a Kai would release him. He’ll be like this for a while, until the chakra runs its course and eventually disperses. A few weeks, perhaps a month or two-”

“ _ WEEKS _ ?!” Iruka let go of Kakashi’s arm to shout, or rather,  _ bark _ his outrage. “ _ You mean I’m stuck like this for a whole fucking MONTH?! Dammit, Kakashi, what the hell _ !”

“Stop barking at me!” Kakashi shouted back. “I said I was sorry!”

“ _ I’m a fucking DOG, you idiot! I don’t have thumbs! _ ”

“Are we even sure it’s him?” Kakashi went on over the cacophony of furious barking. “Maybe it was a substitution Jutsu, and he got switched with this mutt. Let’s just throw it in the pound and-” Iruka snapped at him, barely missing a finger before Kakashi snatched his hand away. “On second thought, he might have rabies, should be put down-”

“No, no. It’s rather obvious it’s Iruka-sensei.” Tsunade leaned forward again, petting his head and tilting it upwards. Iruka whined at the contact, equal parts delighted and embarrassed. “See? Here’s his scar.” Iruka’s whine deepened into a growl as Kakashi leaned closer, peering at the shallow slash across his muzzle. “And here’s the one on his back.”

“Okay, fine, it’s him,” Kakashi grudgingly admitted. “But he doesn’t understand me. I tried to explain the situation but he just  _ bit _ me-”

“Oh, he understands you. Since it’s a Henge, only his body had changed, not his mind. He’s still all there mentally.” Tsunade smirked. “Which means he understands… _ perfectly _ .” Kakashi went a little pale, his eyes ticking down to Iruka nervously. 

“…You make a very pretty dog, if that’s any consolation.”

“ _ Fuck you _ .” Iruka bared his teeth.

“Guess not.” Kakashi sighed and rubbed his neck. “This would be so much easier if I could understand him.”

“He’s not a ninken, Kakashi,” Tsunade explained, absently petting Iruka’s head. His tail began to wag before he forced it still, cursing mentally. “He’s been turned into a regular dog. He doesn’t even have any chakra of his own.”

“Okay, well, that’s good, don’t have to worry about being killed in my sleep.”

“ _ We’ll see about that _ ,” Iruka grumbled to himself.

“Make him stop growling at me. I can’t stand not knowing what he’s- wait, that’s it!” Kakashi straightened suddenly. His hands blurred as he formed the familiar signs of a summoning Jutsu, and in a puff of smoke, Pakkun was there. The grumpy pug lifted his head and glared. 

“Oh my God,  _ WHAT _ .”

“Pakkun.” Kakashi crouched in front of his ninken, pointing at Iruka. “Translate for me.” Pakkun looked over at him curiously, ears perking. Iruka stared back, deadpan.

“ _ Tell him I’m going to bite his dick off and bury it in the back yard _ .”

“…You don’t wanna know,” Pakkun told Kakashi, then poofed away.

“…Yeah on second thought he’s probably right,” Kakashi said after a moment.

“This situation is  _ temporary _ ,” Tsunade repeated, rubbing Iruka’s soft ears. His tail betrayed him again and began to wag back and forth with delight. He gave up and just let it. “The Jutsu will wear off eventually.” She stood, fixing Kakashi with a baleful glare. “ _ You _ will care for him until then.”

“ _ HIM?! Are you crazy?! No way! He did this to me, why would I ever _ -”

“Sensei, stop howling.”

“ME?!” Kakashi went rigid, his one visible eye wide with shock. “Are you kidding? I was supposed to do something fun this week, like assassinate a foreign dignitary or sharpen my kunai collection, not  _ dogsit _ -”

“Consider this your new mission. Rank S,” Tsunade cut him off, jerking her head towards the door. “Now get out.”

“…Do I at least get paid-”

“OUT!”

 

\---

Their first stop was the pet store. 

“ _ Seriously? Do we have to go in there _ ?”

“No whining, Sensei. Let’s just get this over with,” Kakashi grunted back. Iruka swallowed his burning humiliation and followed him inside the building, head low, tail between his legs. A bounty of different smells assaulted him, from the bags of food on the shelves, people wandering the aisles, and animals in their cages. He struggled to process the influx of information and stayed close to Kakashi as he headed for the front. The owner obviously knew the Jonin, waving in greeting and beaming down at Iruka.

“A new one, eh? She’s beautiful.”

“ _ He _ , actually,” Kakashi corrected. Iruka felt a surge of gratitude. “Which collar and leash do you recommend? I’d like it to compliment his coat.” Okay, fuck gratitude, Iruka was peeing on his sandals the first chance he got.

While Kakashi and the owner were picking out something that didn’t clash with his fur, Iruka was forced to hold still for a particularly affectionate toddler. When the mother finally pulled the little monster off his tail, Kakashi turned to him and knelt down.

“Okay, Sensei. You’re gonna have to let me put this on you,” he said, holding out a gold-colored collar with attached matching leash. Iruka’s ears folded back and he growled. “You want to get picked up on the street, brought into the shelter and neutered?” The growl cut off like a knife. “Very good.”

Kakashi led him over to the dog-food aisle next, humming in thought.

“Which do you prefer? Wet or dry? Do you want a grain-free recipe? Oh, hey, this one promotes seven signs of a healthy coat-”

Iruka snapped at him.

“Steak it is.” Kakashi held his hands up in defeat. They left the pet store and headed over towards the butcher’s stall. 

 

\---

  
“Okay, well,” Kakashi said once they finally arrived at his cramped apartment which, to be perfectly frank, smelled like baked bean farts, even without the added olfactory senses, “there’s a dog-bed in the corner if you want-”

“ _ Not happening _ .” Iruka deliberately hopped up onto Kakashi’s rumpled bed, then rolled over and wiggled himself all over the sheets. Point made, he flopped over with a huff, his head on the pillow, and stared at Kakashi, daring him to protest. 

“…God, just drag your ass all over it. Fine.  _ I’ll _ take the dog-bed. I’ve slept in worse.” His one eye rolled dramatically and he threw himself onto the little bed in a cloud of dog-hair, then sneezed three times in a row.

Iruka lay back on the bed, recounting the day’s rather ridiculous turn of events. Think positive, he told himself. Maybe this won’t be such a bad thing. Maybe it’ll be…sort of fun. He had been desperate for a vacation from the school and mission desk, and being turned into a dog was a much better excuse for a few weeks off than going postal and stabbing someone over poor grammar. 

Who has he kidding. This was awful. This was awful and it was all Kakashi’s fault. At least it couldn’t possibly get any worse.

Iruka closed his eyes.

He was wrong. He dreamed of cats, and promptly sleep-ran himself into the wall.

 

\---

 

“ _ Kakashi. I have to pee. Get UP _ .” 

The urgency in Iruka’s little dog bladder had woken him for a literal call of nature. The front door was locked, with wards, no doubt. He’d already looked around and weighed his options. Kakashi’s pillow came first, the rug a close second. The potted plant was his last resort. He pawed at the Kakashi-shaped lump huddled on the dog-bed, whining. 

“ _ Kakashi _ !”

“Five more minutes,” Kakashi groaned, pulling the dog-fur covered blanket over his head. A bare foot stuck out, completely vulnerable to attack. Iruka wiggled his damp, cold nose, and struck.

The resulting scream woke everyone in the apartment complex. 

 

\---

 

Being a dog was so BORING. Iruka had already explored every corner of Kakashi’s tiny apartment, chewed on a couple of his sandals, tipped over the trash bin for the heck of it, and disemboweled a cushion. Kakashi hadn’t even blinked, just cleaned it all up without any fuss. Iruka suspected he had the ninken to thank for his unshakeable demeanor towards canine nonsense. With nothing better to do, Iruka simply lay down and heaved out a deep, long sigh, head on his paws. 

“…Wanna go to the park?” Kakashi suggested, looking up from his Icha Icha. Iruka glanced over at him dubiously. “You could run around. Chase things. Squirrels, other dogs. Balls. Frisbee.” Iruka didn’t move. “…Me?”

Iruka was up and heading for the door in an instant. 

 

\---

 

Kakashi was true to his word. Iruka spent several gleeful hours in the park, ducking around bushes and under tree branches, chasing Kakashi down like a wolf on the hunt. The Jonin was thoughtful enough not to use chakra for an unfair advantage, instead relying on pure skill and speed to dodge and weave out of the way every time Iruka lunged. When he tired of that, he went and played with the other dogs in the park, who, despite rudely sniffing his rear, turned out to be fantastic playmates. There was only one embarrassing incident when Inazuka Tsume ran over squealing and proceeded to molest him with kisses, all while Kakashi stood aside and snickered. Finally, as the sun began to set, he flopped over in the grass, panting with exhaustion, his back end aching from his tail wagging so much.

“That was fun,” Kakashi admitted as he sat beside Iruka, eye twinkling. “We can do this every day, if you like.”

Iruka agreed whole-heartedly with a happy bark. 

 

\---

 

Life with Kakashi was surprisingly domestic. Every morning Iruka would awaken Kakashi with a stab from his cold nose, the pair would eat breakfast, then go for a morning run. After returning to the apartment for some down-time, they’d have lunch, then head out to the park for several hours. Once the evening began to set in, they headed back for supper, then amused themselves till bed-time. 

Quite the vacation, Iruka thought to himself as he stretched out on the floor and yawned lazily, not a care in the world. He could get used to this.

 

\---

 

“You’re going to have to let me brush you,” Kakashi said firmly, holding the dog-comb out like a weapon. Iruka just growled from where he’d been backed into a corner. “Sensei, look at yourself. Your fur is starting to matt. Irish Setters and other long-haired dogs require weekly, if not  _ daily _ brushing to keep them neat. You’re no exception. Now, are you going to cooperate, or do I have to get the muzzle?”

“ _ Fiiiiine _ ,” Iruka huffed, and then, just to be petty, fell completely limp onto the floor. 

“You big baby.” Kakashi wrestled him over onto his side, positioning his legs out of the way. “You’ll like this, I promise. It’s like going to the spa.” Iruka highly doubted that. Kakashi started combing slowly, beginning with the thick hair on his sides, working in long, even strokes. Iruka closed his eyes, eager for this to be over with.

“ _ Shut up _ ,” he grumbled upon seeing Kakashi’s smug face after he’d awoken two hours later. 

 

\---

 

It took Kakashi less than five minutes to find the one spot on Iruka’s back that made his leg go nuts. He laughed while Iruka sulked in the corner afterwards.

“I’m an expert, Sensei,” he said, chuckling. “Don’t underestimate me.” 

 

\---

 

“ _ TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OOOOFFFF _ !”

“Seriously?” Kakashi asked, incredulous. He stood in the middle of the apartment, vacuum cleaner in hand. “I’m cleaning up after you, you walking carpet.”

“ _ I DON’T CARE! TURN IT OFF _ !” Iruka howled back, huddling in terror beneath the bed. He couldn’t explain his sudden, inexplicable fear of the vacuum cleaner, he just knew he’d never be able to look at one the same way again. 

“This is why I don’t have long-haired dogs,” Kakashi muttered to himself and he got under the coffee table. 

 

\---

 

“ _ You call this a pedicure? This is torture!” _

“Stop squirming!” Kakashi sat cross-legged on the floor, Iruka wriggling in his lap, paws in the air. He adjusted the clippers and went back to work.

“ _ I am NOT tipping _ ,” Iruka grumbled. “ _ This is the worst service I’ve ever had _ .” 

“You know what, I’m just going to assume you’re saying, ‘thank you, Kakashi, for clipping my nasty nails, you are so kind and thoughtful’.”

“ _ I want to speak to your manager _ .”

 

\---

 

“ _ Is he always like this _ ?”

“ _ You have no idea, Sensei.” _

_ “He drives us crazy _ .”

“I know you guys are talking about me,” Kakashi cut in, glaring at the group of ninken surrounding Iruka. They stared back at him innocently, tails wagging. “Quit it.”

“ _ See what we mean? We can’t even have a private dog-to-dog conversation without him butting in.” _

_ “Oh, I can imagine.” _

_ “So rude.” _

“You guys are jerks.”

 

\---

 

“Kakashi-sensei?”

“…Naruto?” 

Iruka froze mid-chew and glanced up, tennis ball in his mouth. Naruto had joined Kakashi and him in the park, approaching from upwind so Iruka hadn’t caught a whiff of him. The overpowering smell of ramen was unmistakable. Iruka got to his feet and trotted over, tail wagging.

“…Have you seen Iruka-sensei lately?” Naruto asked, his voice strangely soft. He stood in front of Kakashi, scratching at his head. “I went to his apartment to bum a bowl of ramen off him, but…he’s not there. Then I went to the school and heard he’s been gone for, like, three whole weeks.” There was worry in his scent, and a thorny prickle of fear. “Do you…know where he is?”

Oh, Iruka thought. Shit.

“Er.” Kakashi’s eyes flicked down to Iruka, then back up to his Genin disciple. “He’s…out on a mission. Month-long. He’ll be back shortly, though. Nothing to worry about, really, just as standard B-” Iruka barked. “ _ C- _ ranked mission. I’m sure he’ll be fine.” 

“…Yeah?” Naruto perked up, the strong scent of worry dissipating a little. “Yeah. Okay. Still, I wish he’d  _ told _ me before he left.” He finally noticed Iruka standing there and reached out to pet him. “You get a new dog or something? What’s this one called?”

“Fluffy,” Kakashi stated smugly.

“ _ Screw you _ .” Iruka snorted and pushed his head against Naruto’s leg.

“He’s sweet.” Naruto said, tugging gently on his ears. “Can I play with him?”

“Ask him yourself.” Kakashi shrugged. Naruto held out his hand in permission and Iruka immediately relinquished the ragged, drool-covered tennis ball. Grinning, Naruto wound up and let the ball fly. Iruka barked and shot off across the grass, tail wagging happily.

 

\---

 

“Bath time,” Kakashi chimed in a cheerful tone, holding up a towel and bottle of dog shampoo. Iruka cracked open an eye to stare at him, but didn’t otherwise move from the mat. “Come on, Sensei. It’s high time you got completely clean. After playing in that mud-pit by the training ground you smell worse than I do after a six-month-long mission.”

“ _ I highly doubt that _ ,” Iruka muttered. That mud-pit had been worth it. Most fun he’d had in quite a while. He’d be sure to invite Naruto over there sometime. 

“Would you rather I take you to the groomers?”

“ _ You’re such an ass _ .” Iruka shuddered at the thought. Resigned to his fate, he followed Kakashi out of the apartment and into the hallway. They climbed up the stairs and emerged out onto the rooftop, where Kakashi had already set up a kiddie pool and roll of hose in preparation. 

“A couple Inuzuka’s live here,” Kakashi explained as Iruka glanced around. “This is sort of like a communal dog bath up here.” 

“ _ That would explain the smell _ ,” Iruka grunted. “ _ Oh no, wait, that’s just you _ .”

“I know you’re insulting me, but I don’t really care.” Kakashi rolled his sleeves and the hem of his pants up, revealing nicely toned forearms and calves. Iruka found himself admiring them for a moment and almost felt bad for leaving bite-marks all over them. “God, drying you off’s gonna be a bitch. I’ll have to use the hair-dryer for like an hour.” On second thought, a few more wouldn’t hurt.

Iruka gingerly stepped into the kiddie pool and steeled himself for the worst. Kakashi, however, was surprisingly gentle, wetting him down thoroughly with warm water from the hose, then scrubbing the shampoo through his fur into a rich lather, and careful to rinse him clean afterwards. A few minutes in, he began humming quietly to himself, a song Iruka failed to recognize but enjoyed nevertheless. The soothing motions of Kakashi’s hands carding through his fur and soft humming lulled him into a dream-like, half-asleep daze. Iruka stood there, body totally relaxed, eyes closed, dozing on his feet. 

“Okay, let me get your stomach,” Kakashi said, his voice sounding far away. 

Iruka sleepily complied, rolling over and sticking his paws up. He stretched luxuriantly, enjoying the feel of warm water-

There was a gasp. 

Iruka instantly snapped awake and opened his eyes, confused. Kakashi was gaping at him, frozen in shock, his eyes bulging, the hose dribbling uselessly from one hand.

“Oh my God. What? What’s wrong?” As Iruka sat up his gaze dropped, following the branching trails of soapy water running over his glistening abdominal muscles down to-

Oh. He was human again. 

The immense surge of relief that washed over him was quickly overshadowed by the wave of horror/embarrassment he felt at being wet, nude, and alone on a rooftop with Hatake Kakashi.

With all the dignity a naked, grown man in a kiddie pool could muster, Iruka slowly stood and straightened to his full height. It felt strange, standing on two feet after weeks of being on all fours. Unexpectedly cold without his fur, too. He shivered, his nipples pebbling in the breeze. His hair was loose and wet, clinging to his shoulders in long strands. He absently lifted a hand and swiped it back out of his face, squeezing some of the water out to drip down his back.

“Kakashi-” he began, then blinked. 

Kakashi was still staring, gaze locked most definitely  _ not _ on his eyes. Iruka politely cleared his throat. Kakashi didn’t move. Iruka cleared it a little louder. Still nothing. 

“ _ KAKASHI _ !” 

“ _ Bwuh _ ?” The Jonin’s eyes finally jerked up to meet his, wits returning as well as his sense of decency. “…Oh. Right. Sorry.” He quickly turned around, awkwardly holding out the hose behind him. “Here, Sensei. You should…rinse yourself off. Not sure how dog-shampoo affects humans.”

“As if you haven’t tried it yourself,” Iruka snorted as he took the hose and ducked under it, careful to remove the last remaining bits of suds from his hair and body. He switched the hose off and looked up just in time to catch Kakashi peeking over his shoulder. “HEY!”

“Sorry! I…just- you’re very- sorry!” His head snapped back around, posture rigid. He was quiet for a long moment before continuing. “…Remember what I said about you being a pretty dog?” His voice was strangely rough. 

“…Yesss?” Iruka said, drawing it out like a question.

“Well…” Kakashi shifted his feet, hesitating. “…You’re a lot prettier as a human.” 

There was a pause.

“Are you  _ flirting _ with me?” Iruka bared his teeth. “Seriously? After turning me into a fucking DOG for a month?”

“I’m just saying…” Kakashi shrugged his shoulders helplessly, then peeked over his shoulder again to give a cheeky wink. “…I’d be happy to give you a bath  _ anytime _ , Sensei.”

“Don’t make me bite you,” Iruka snarled. Kakashi’s eyes glazed over.

“ _ Oh God _ -”

Iruka squirted him with the hose.

 

-The End-


End file.
